Update: Gifts For My Brother Dave

Hola!

This weekend, I kicked off what is being nationally and rapidly regarded as:

"Jeff's Mindless, Fiscally Irresponsible, Yet Highly Thoughtful Venture Into Fraternal Togetherness and Base, Raucous Guffaws"

Why isn't this the title of my blog????

Anyway, after several hours of disciplined cogitation (made possible due to Singapore-style caning with a bamboo pole that would ensue if I stopped thinking intensely for more than 1 second at a time) , followed by a tantric meditation session designed to enhance to the ulitmate fullest BOTH the decision making process of the humanoid mind along with my foundational instincts for fraternal obligation, I decided on gifts to cheer up my bro Dave.

Now, after these rigorous processes, I was in an overly ambitious state of mind, so keep this in mind. The first gift that came to mind arose from my brother's desire to see some exotic, far away places totally removed from American corporate and capitalist culture:







For the next gift, I decided to expand upon this idea...Why not get bigger -- and higher!:







The final gift would be the capper, I said to myself...Let's get a gift that not only keeps on giving, but gives access to all US miltary strategy and finally reveals the highly classified info about the biggest secret of all: That our government is secretly working with aliens possessing IQs exceeding 200 to make the vanilla and strawberry flavors in Neapolitan Ice Cream just as desireable as the chocolate:



.....Afterwards, a empty paint bucket fell from the top shelf of my basement and knocked me on the head....I then realized that the shipping charges on those gifts would be outrageous, so unfortunately, I had to abandon the plan..

Or so I thought..I re-thought my strategy and decided to appeal to Dave's anger and frustration -- basically, I wanted to make him laugh by purchasing downright tasteless merchandise.

So these are the first few gifts that I ended up purchasing for Dave:

(1: H.E. Fartsalot, The Farting Musical Hand Puppet:






(2: Filthy Phrases Player:






(3: Menage a Trois Love Doll:






..I don't know about you, but I think I'm off to a hell of a start!...heh heh...(and I bought all of these at Spencer's...Who says you have to go NYC to buy anything interesting??)