A Post About Nothing...

So the Central New Jersey blizzard-induced cabin fever is now in its 2nd week!

Although I have fought valiantly and rigorously to ward off the "Demons of Diminshing Thought and Creativity", alas, I am human, and even the bizarro Jeff "Ludricous Lee" Partyka Terwilliger Tzu-Kamaki Harlowe Thromby McTwittleBottom (this is my real name; for convenience purposes, I cut it off after Partyka....or sometimes Terwilliger...) has run out of ideas...

Yep...there's nothing left....Nada....Nothing at all.....Nothing as in 'zilch'.......the tank is empty....the well has run dry......I've scraped all that there is to scrape from the bottom of the barrel.......

Have I officially become to stereotypical vapid computer guy at the office? Have I turned into "Jeff Average", or "Jeff Bloggs"? (for you GRE enthusiasts out there)...or Jeff Vegetable Lasagna??.........or Jeff Brimley, son of Wilford Brimley, the most boring actor humanly possible?

Well, here are the most exciting things that happened to me this weekend..Judge for yourself: (BTW, I'm not kidding about these):

(1: On Saturday morning, I decided to gamble and eat 2 scrambled eggs instead of my usual one. Remembering that I often don't spray enough Pam into my scrambled egg skillet, I overcompensated violently and emptied maybe 1/6 of the entire can onto the pan. What resulted was an enormous Pam cloud that seemed to grow in intensity over time, rather than diminish. I started coughing while breathing in the healthy Canola Oil fumes......I dumped my eggs into the skillet, and they were afloat in this wash of oil and....umm.....eggs.....yep.....they did cook, yes they did....umm.....but it sure was messy!

(2: I took my parents out to see the movie "Phantom of the Opera" (which was amazing BTW)....My Dad was in rare form as a pissed off NJ driver who just doesn't give a damn anymore....Here's what he said in his first few minutes of driving to the theater (When we all go out, I just let him drive, because he is IMPOSSIBLE as a backseat driver....uggghh):

Situation 1: There's a guy in front of him who is taking his time in making a right turn: "Cmon!! Cmon!!!! Damn New Yorker, doesn't even know what the hell she's doing!!Look at her, she's looking down, up, left, right, she's looking everywhere but straight in front of her....Idiots!...Idiots!" (It should be noted that this girl turned about maybe 2 seconds more slowly than my Dad wanted...but that didn't stop his tirade)

Situation 2: A minute later, we're driving past a woman who is just coming out of Quick Chek...She starts to walk on the street, much to my Dad's dismay:

Mom: "Why is she walking onto the street?"

Dad: "Because she's a fat pig, that's why!"

(At this point, I started laughing at the showcase my Dad was putting on)

(3: I went to Borders book store yesterday in an attempt to wait out Agent Bookslave....She didn't show up...Worse yet, the hairy Russian guys were everywhere..But that was only the beginning:

- There was no soap in the men's bathroom
- There was no bottled water in the refrigerator
- I couldn't read, because this 'slick' guy was trying to impress some girl by talking constantly and in an annoying manner...And this girl just had no mind of her own, she couldn't respond to ANYTHING this guy was saying...it was like some public mating ritual.....

....With all of these factors in play...I left to store my massive 35 GB mp3 collection into my new hard drive...

That's it.....I promise, when my life becomes populated with new, cool stories, entertainment, people, and green grass, I will be wacky once more!