Agent Bookslave -- The Return!

Hola!

Before this weekend, I intended on giving everyone a DOUBLE dose of my dating disaster stories, with the second one detailing my freakishly coincidental meeting with Agent Bookslave. (I still don't know her name, though)...However, certain events this weekend have changed my blogging plans, perhaps for the better. Who knows? This may end up being one of THE all-time classic dating disaster stories, but for now, the unique and mysterious lore and lure of this girl continues to be written into the annals of my incredibly strange dating history. So this post will detail what has happened in recent days....

OK, so pretty soon after my first dating disaster story with Agent Bookslave, she mysteriously disappeared. Even more to my dismay, she was replaced by a couple of tall, disheveled, full-bearded 45 year old guys (probably named Gustov or Nikoli -- or Gustov Nikoli -- I betcha they were former citizens of the USSR who escaped oppression and personal repression by dreaming about all things American (roads paved with gold, Statue of Liberty, Alpha Bits, yada yada) and by reading 1 whole Russian novel.) I remember I tried to commence a conversation with one of those guys once with a regular statement, something like, "Hey, so Sunday nights look insanely slow around here....uggghh..."....Nikoli then ranted for 5 minutes about Isaac Asimov, followed by Slaughterhouse 5, followed by upcoming Canadian new age/celtic music greats...I walked out of the store with an intriguing, confusing silence.

Obviously, I didn't like this turn of events in Borders of East Brunswick, so a couple of weeks ago, I set out on a new quest - to frequent a NEW bookstore! Specifically, Barnes and Noble, at the Menlo Park Mall..

Now, here's where things get really weird...I've been to this mall before at least 10 times, and I would get there via Route 1. But on this Sunday night, for whatever reason, I just could NOT find the turn-off....In fact, I traveled this stretch of road TWICE!...and both times, I just didn't see a turn off to the mall. I was muddled beyond belief; it's possible that some pesky vandals damaged the turn-off sign on that particular night, and the sign was replaced the following day...It's also possible that I just had some timed brain fart that caused me to miss this turn-off. I'm usually very good with following directions (although I was lucky to get out of Chrome alive...LOL..That's when I learned the skill of driving while ducking below the windshield) ..

So I got frustrated and said, "Fine! I'll go to Borders......Maybe it's my fate to end up at Borders amongst incredibly hairy Russian guys who know everything about Isaac Asimov and experimental robotics....[10 minute tear episode followed]" At this point, though, I started to wonder if maybe this was happening for a reason beyond my understanding...

I get to Borders, I'm expecting nothing, just flipping through various magazines. And then, from out of nowhere -- Agent Bookslave is directly in front of me! Even more amazingly, at this very moment, on the Borders store sound system, I hear some romantic/sexy 80's saxophone music!!

It was at this very moment that I became Mike Hammer, private investigator (anyone remember that show? In every episode, he always saw this beautiful, mysterious woman who would give him these lustful looks, while sexy saxophone music was playing in the background....[chuckle].I love the 80's :-) )

I had a chance to talk to her for a minute, but I couldn't think of anything to say....But no, that's not all.....She has this paralyzing effect on me.....I'm usually very relaxed around girls/women, but with her, she becomes Medusa and I get turned to stone. So instead I chose the cowardly path and pretended to read some random magazine while sneaking peeks at her. She then quickly disappeared from my site after about 30 seconds...I put down my 'Young Suburban Mothers' weekly (including a special 15 page feature on the pros and cons of breast feeding) , shuddered in horror when I looked at the magazine I pretended to read, and then shuddered in horror again as I saw Agent Bookslave buying something and preparing to leave..Damn she's fast!...

She left soon after, but I truly got the sense that as she was leaving, that she wanted to talk to me.....Then again I'm quite delusional, but I really believed that. I left the store once again in disappointment, wondering why I just can't muster the guts to talk to this girl...I thought I blew my one last shot at her...

However, this Sunday, I'm buying a classy gift for Lynn's birthday (a DVD entitled 'Buttcrack'...it's an English movie about the specifics of method acting in the late 19th century...j/k...well, the English part could very well have been true....) and guess who I see, surrounded by hairy Russian guys? Agent Bookslave!!!! If she comes by regularly on Sundays, then guess what? She's in play for me once again! Woohoo! Jeff happy today's moon :-)

In my next post, which I'll make in a little bit, I'll need the help of the blogger community -- stay tuned..