This could happen to anyone -- INCLUDING YOU!!

Hey! I have 10 free minutes!...I spent 2 of those minutes trying to figure out what "free" meant, since it's been so long since my last break...So now I have 8 minutes, so let me tell you about what is, quite possibly, the most embarrassing moment in my professional life...It happened this morning, around 10:30 a.m.:

OK, so I'm at a meeting, and I'm sitting at a table, with 5 other people. This meeting is about a newsletter that I created, so there was inevitable, inescapable attention focused squarely on ME. Also, the room is WIDE open - you can't hide in the meeting room...

So at about 10:20a.m., I get this itch in my left nostril....It gets worse and worse....I'm about to sneeze -- aaaa....AAAAACHHH.............it goes away! woohoo! I note the minor victory in my head....things seemed OK for a couple of minutes...

AND THEN

I feel a new sensation in my left nostril.....the sensation of runny liquid....ever so slowly advancing....further....and further.....AND FURTHER....until eventually --

IT REACHES THE EDGE OF MY NOSTRIL!!

Now, during all of this, the meeting is progressing normally, while people begin to notice that it's been about 3 minutes since I've uttered a word..."That's quite unusual for someone who has such a high stake in this meeting!", thought the other people (well, I'm sure they did, but maybe I'm imagining things)

At this point, I'm getting desperate...So I reach into my pocket for my trusty handkerchief -- OH NO!! There's nothing there!!! I've got nothing..NOTHING!!!!! NOTHING AT ALL!!!!

Now, I can't absolutely confirm that the following happened...but I believe that after my desperate mental struggle, where I fought so heroically, so bravely, with so much heart.....My nose liquid became -- A SNOT

And not only a snot, but possibly one that was hanging out..[high-pitched scream of a girl in the background]

Now, at this point, I tried to think as optimistically as possible -- I thought, "Well, although it might feel like I have a snot hanging off of my left nostril, maybe it's not really there...yeah...yeah, that's it!...[nervous laugh].."

Then I thought, "OK, fine....so you have a large snot hanging off of your nose.....big deal!...You're still one of the most professional and respected people in this office, and because of that, not only will this ugly little incident be overlooked, but you will get support from others!"

And then I got desperate...so I put my notebook (the only thing I brought) over my face very quickly at what I felt was an opportune moment (when someone else was talking, and quite wrapped up with their idea), and I wiped with my arm....

HEY! You would have done the same thing if you were as desperate as me! And in these most dire of circumstances, people tend to lose their humanity, and resort to animalistic behavior...I was no different -- and none of you would be different! We're all uncontrollable animals! One day, you'll see!! You'll find out the brutal truth!