Assorted garbage (I'm in an extremely strange mood today, but you may win some money, so read!)

Hello! I am in a weird mood today, and for no particular reason, I am using inconvenient fonts and spacing in my blog! whahahahaw!!!!! [unexplained animal noise from my mouth #1]

Today, my brain doesn't seem to be functioning properly -- I MAY have been abducted by aliens during the night, because (1: I feel strangely calm, a sensation that I haven't felt in years! Remember, web guys are supposed to be paranoid at ALL times, as I am constantly on the lookout for poorly designed HTML markup, and incorrect syntax throughout the entire Internet (It is my duty to cover IP addresses from 3.0.0.0 - 4.0.0.0 - New Jersey, Delaware, Maryland, and the little part of Virginia that is below Maryland, and sticks out downward into the Atlantic Ocean..)

DID YOU KNOW?

Computer people are even MORE anal than dentists....It's true. And the more you know about Web design, the more anal you get.

This is one of the reasons why I am never taken to a "look who I'M with" place (ie: Borders, Panera Bread) by a girl; I'm difficult!

Anyway, the other reason I believe I have been abducted by aliens is that I have this cut on my left pinky finger - now yesterday, this was just your standard papercut, but today, it's GROWN!....I'm thinking that I was lifted out of my bed via their gravitational light, given a sedative and memory erasing pill (which NEVER seems to work, BTW....so aliens, who have conquered speeds greater than that of light, who have killed every disease that has ever existed, who can walk through walls or any other solid object, who can teleport to any place at will, STILL haven't quite figured out the intricacies of the human subconscious....Hmmm...Obviously, they've never heard of alcohol...), and experimented on for hours by "the doctor". It's also possible that I was forced to participate in impregnating the female members of the crew, as I seem to remember the screams of babies -- with green heads!
I suspect that they have implanted a small, glass-like tracking device directly below the cut. I'll have to squeeze this into my busy "shedule" today:

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2:00 - 3:00: Design new email format for Digest Department
3:00 - 4:00: Meeting with boss
4:00 - 4:05: Remove alien tracking device from finger using paperclips. (sharpest object I have)
4:10 - 5:00: Pretend to work hard by keeping my head down, looking at the computer screen, and typing really fast.

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It's also possible that I'm just feeling a bit different today because I have a slight tummy ache............

Moving on, my insano brother Chris has announced the tour dates for his band...I'll have those for everyone tomorrow..I believe, if my memory serves me, that he is playing this weekend, in NYC!!! His band is strange and interesting, but muy fun, so if you want to have a unique and good ol' rockin' time, check out my brother's band! I'll have more info tomorrow...

And finally, a word about Stevie, Brooke's beloved cat. Now, I know some of my readers had a problem with my allegedly "derogatory" blog concerning my inappropriate laughing....Some of you believed that I defiled the honor and memory of Stevie, by laughing mercilessly and recklessly at his untimely death.

Well, I have a response for: you see, starting a blog is not for the faint of heart, not for the cowardy, NOT for the pusillanimous. And with this comes an inherent understanding of risk. Will I ever tone down my wanton commentary? Never, I tell ya! Never. I can't live the button-down life like all of you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors -- oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Jeffrey L. Partyka?"

Anyone who can name the source of the quote by Wednesday in blue above will get 5 dollars from me. No lie.

OK, I'm done babbling -- I swear I'll have something to talk about tomorrow. The aliens might drop by and say hello -- AND THEN ABDUCT ALL OF YOU!!!