My brothers! Part 1 of 2: Chris

Hola senores y senoritas!!

I'm feel better today, so I will write with my standard, infectious zest!.....

....ummm............so...umm............................things are good.....................................ummmm....................................................it's....uhhh......quite cold!....umm....out-side......yes!.....it...........ummmm...........certainly...............is..!

g-bye!!!

j/k..no, I really do have something I want to write about..initially, I wanted to talk about how I am slowly getting poisoned by my pineapple flavored multi-vitamin that I take once a day, but on reflection, I thought it would be more fun to introduce my brothers over the next 2 days..

Now, a little background: my 2 brothers are named "Dave" and "Chris", and they are polar opposites of one another...(That being said, as the years pass, I am garnering a better understanding of why family gatherings during the holidays nearly turn into horrific bickering sessions of equal intensity to "Divorce Court")...

Anyway, after much consideration, I realized that the best way to introduce each of my brothers would be through one of their typical emails to me. And Chris is first up.

As a brief personality description, Chris is my oldest brother, he's 30, lives in Vermont....I think....and has lived the most insane life of anyone I know, by light years. He's in a indie-rock band called "The Ghosts of Pasha", and they might appear on "The Carson Daly Show" at some point in their East Coast Tour in the next few months. Once, he ate a soap sandwich, with dishwashing detergent as the "sauce".

So without further ado, here is an email from Chris, my oldest brother.....So what do I think of this email?....Well...I'm not sure....read on and find out what I mean:



-----Original Message-----
From: nancy friday [mailto:stinko_mcblaster@yahoo.com]
Sent: Thursday, July 01, 2004 2:40 AM
To: jeff; dave
Subject: mako shark mamas 4.0 : wait'll ye getta loada this

ezra loves gentle giant.
my clothes, shoes, feet
and body smell like
someone ate piss, shit and garbage and then vomited.
dana loves that.
shes the coolest, most bizarre girl ive ever met,
and she is so beautiful(i still am surprised every time i see her)
she has dyed pink hair
she calls herself the pink one
but the people around here call her pinky
everyone says to me
"i cant believe she likes you so much"
i dont either
but its because
when i met her
i was screaming
and running at people at the price chopper
and jumping around
like a gorilla
and she thought i was really funny
..................................
she looks like a model
but dresses like a boy
(baseball caps jeans and wifebeater tee's)
and talks like a truck driving lesbian..
she likes girls and
wants us to "experiment"..
shes also 17, and weighs 89
pounds..
wears no makeup,


the first day i hung out with her
i easily
picked her up and held her in the air
in the middle of main street
as cars went by
and she nibbled my ears
and bit my neck
then i turned around
and faced the other traffic
and this guy took a picture of it
and the art department
at the school displayed it..
her and i were the buzz that day
of the art department
and i found out after the fact..

i had no idea he took it..

he just dropped it off
the other day..
the best part is
i cant fuck up with her..
(how i usually do with girls)
because she refuses to regard me
as a social being
ergo, i cant fuck up
socially..
were in a bubble..
plus she knows about the other two girls
(they all know each other
and know ABOUT each other
and are okay with it)
hannah [very big 21 hot punk girl]
and elise..
and thinks theyre hot..
and we all hang out together..
the other day me and elise
(large breasted medium build
21 college girl very hot body
pretty but not beautiful like dana)
and dana all went swimming
and both of them didnt have
swim wear
so they swam along with me in their panties
at the dog's head junction
of the lamoille river
and it was the dawn of a new day..
wait a week or so..
theres music coming..
alot of it..
the more i live the less i want to say..


?????
tomorrow, I will introduce my polar opposite brother, Dave!