My Britany Spears problem...

Of course, being the day after the first presidential debate, I wanted to introduce some class -- a pinch of the genteel if you will -- into my blog, especially regarding the subject matter. Some of my English readers have reproached me, and one even went as far as to say that I am "a highly disagreeable and disreputable stripling, if I should say so myself! Hmmph!"

So to appease my ill-tempered readers, today's topic will be a serious one........ah, screw it, let's talk about Britney Spears..

I did want to talk about a very strange problem I have...and it involves some of Britany Spears newer close-up photos of her face.

Now, just for the record, I am not a Britney-holic; in fact, I honestly don't know nearly as much about her as some of my readers apparently do. But this problem I have concerning her fascinates me, and I wonder if anyone else feels this way.

All right, now to better illustrate my problem, I want to actually lay out an evolution of Britney's "sexiness"....OK, here's the picture that put her on the map. I call this 'Britney as a human girl'

BRITNEY AS A HUMAN GIRL





OK, here, she's an incredibly naive and stupid teenage girl...but THAT'S the point: she's HUMAN! So this is fine for me...Now, after a few years past, this next picture marked the second step in her sexual evolution:

BRITNEY AS A SEMI-HUMAN GIRL




OK, by this point, it's clear that she is no longer 100% human....at least 50% of her has been constructed in a secret, nameless genetic laboratory in Antarctica funded by the Pentagon. (so THAT's why only 5-10% of the money going to "Iraq" has actually been spent.....it's actually being diverted to the Britney Spears Reconstruction Project (BSRP) )......OK, as a sidebar, I need my sci-fi fix soon....Star Trek: Enterprise has not premiered, and I am frozen with fear that it has been cancelled, right when it was getting good, of course! So bear with me as I struggle with my withdrawal pains...........OK, so the point here is that she is turning into a lab specimen, but she retains significant traces of her humanity...

Now, this last picture, which I saw a few days ago, completes her sexual evolution....She is no longer human at all.....However -- and this is where my Britney Spears problem fits in -- my first reaction to this picture was one of non-stop, ferocious laughter...here it is:



Here's my problem: whenever I look at the new Britney Spears sexiness, my first impression is that she's about to puke all over my face. And then I start laughing uncontrollably.

Remember, this is coming from a heterosexual, 25-year-old guy, who is supposed to be turned on to Britney....But when I look at this picture, I immediately think that she got seriously bombed, and that she spent the night in a ditch....

Maybe it's just me...maybe there's something wrong with me...and if there is, then that's fine. People are differentiated by their problems and idiosynchracies.

What do the rest of you think? Does Britney Spears look like an alien-life-form?